It's a Birthday
Today the C went to his very first school-invite based birthday.
I say school-invite based birthday because his school has adopted the notion that the heretofore democratic system of invites-for-all was not quite right, and now if you have a birthday party you, as a parent, need to reach out individually (and outside of the school system) to the parents of the other snowflakes. C has had invites before (I think 2 or 3) but they either fell on inconvenient days (e.g., he was at his father's house) or they were obviously hearkening to the democratic system (e.g., one was for a child with whom he had got into repeated fistfights).
There is a delicate social balance to the birthday party invite, nuanced and not well documented.
First, the adult-esque "show up and bring a bottle of wine" is not the game here. A present is mandatory entrance into the venue. The depth of present expectation to be navigated is shallow and can involve math such as "okay, how much are these people spending on the party/how much did they spend on my kid". Gift receipts are required.
Second, the venue is almost certainly not at anyone's actual home. The parties are typically at offsite locations, where the adults have assigned helpers and usually someone else to clean up the mess. The location will quite likely have a minimum of a play gym but more likely will involve face painting, water play, mask making, and a whole bevy of other stuff to do.
Third, there is no question as to refreshments. There is food and drink and cake and then of course balloons and party favors. Your child/the children will have a massive carbohydrate overload, and probably be pre-diabetic by the time you go home.
There are occasionally parents who stay for the party and parents who view parties as free babysitting. The latter don't often get invited to the next party. For those who stay, you get to see your child with other children that he usually "works" with in school. You discover oftentimes your child is a cherub and some of those other little snowflakes should go melt. The one spitting in the wishing well. The one hitting the birthday boy with a balloon. The one who had to be put on 4 (count 'em) time outs by his father *during* the cake cutting and distribution. The one who arrived at the party 20 minutes late and announced he hated both of the celebrants and wanted his cake now so he could go.
You also discover that children's birthday parties are a progressive series of one-upsmanship and jones'-upkeeping. The first party we were invited to was at the McDonald's playspace. The second was at Skate King. This third was at the Kids Quest Museum. And I'm lying if I don't say I'm considering renting out an aquarium or something for the C's.
After all, *my* little snowflake deserves better.
