Et tu, Brute?

As I drove into work today I had the luxury of watching people walking along the sidewalk (courtesy of an all way crossing near the metro transit station, downtown Bellevue). I like people watching, it will be a useful skill when I'm Dictatrix.

A reasonably youngish and definitely pretty blond in shorts (not short shorts) came jogging along and a young man, watching her, did the casual eyes up and down thing that men do. (Men do do. We know this.)

The first thing that popped into my head was, "Pig!"

The second thing that popped into my head was, "Why?!?"

That's right. Why is this man a pig? He is not, or at least I don't know him well enough to make that assumption. I was essentially assuming this miscellaneous male person was disgusting-in-the-head because he eyeballed a blonde. This means I'm doubly disgusting, I guess, as I eyeballed them both.

I started to analyze why I jumped to this conclusion (after all, it's a pretty long crossing period). The entire process went something like this: Woman is pretty, man looks her up and down, man and woman depart each other's company without knowing eachother (presumably) or having any visible interaction, the end.

I think the reaction of "Pig" is one of defense: after all, he must be thinking lascivious thoughts, right?

And this is bad because...

Hm.

You see, women are guilty of this too. I know this, because I'm a woman, and I have had lascivious thoughts about random men I didn't know. One was in an elevator one time, and that turned out rather well.

Therefore, lascivious thoughts ping on both sides, and it isn't fair to jump to pigness that way.

Maybe it's because we have the feeling he is judging her? Yes! That's it, he's totally judging her.

He's not saying anything though. He's looking at her, evaluating, and keeping it to himself.

And this is bad because...

Hm.

It's not like he's saying "nice legs" or "are they tired" or "hey would you hump me". He's not opining whether or not Shakespeare was gay, if the weather is hot or cold, or saying anything at all. And I think *here* is the problem.

You see, we are oft told that if we can't say something nice, we shouldn't say it at all. We know he is looking, we know he is evaluating. Perhaps it is because there isn't shining, virginal (or slightly less than virginal) approval in his manner; or because he isn't saying "wow you look nice would you mind stopping running so I can ask your phone number" (because that would *totally* happen); that we jump to this conclusion. We condemn the lad not for his ogling, but for the possibility that his evaluation is less than what we'd want someone to come up with, or what we come up with for ourselves.

Touche.